I realized one day last winter that we were “those” people now. My little family was at Ikea and we ran into an old boss of mine, who was there with his wife and newborn son. We looked at each other ruefully, a mutual acknowledgement that our lives were forever changed – we were in Ikea on a Saturday pushing strollers. Yikes.
I remember those irritating people from my younger days- Trying to pick out some fab throw pillows when some idiot runs over my foot with their gigantic pram. Asshole. This was shopping time, not a stroll in the park! Focus people.
Now I understand the appeal. It IS a walk in the park. You can look at kitchen stuff and bedding and there are little play areas scattered around the store to keep the little ones distracted. The kids area is awesome and there is lots of fun things to look at (and inevitably buy for your wee one) then before you hit the check out, the restaurant beckons with their kid friendly menu and white plastic high chairs.
Ikea is a place where we can be grownups and parents – I think that this is the appeal.
And if your kids are really driving you nuts, you can stick them in the daycare!
I was infuriated last month while reading comments made about Kate Upton on a website called SkinnyGossip. This person (slug) had the audacity to imply that Kate Upton, who recently graced the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition, was fat and that her (natural) breasts were floppy. After washing my eyes out with soap, I got to thinking about how women look at themselves and others when it comes to how we look and dress.
My friend and colleague Lori loves to listen to me rant at people’s outfit choices when we drive in her car. It is my personal version of road rage. Sometimes I get a little mean about people whom I consider to have bad taste, although I by no means consider myself to be the “Fashion Police” and I certainly have made serious wardrobe errors in the past.
The thing I see most often that drives me crazy is women wearing clothing that doesn’t fit correctly or doesn’t flatter their figures. I truly believe that this is what comes of society hitting us over the head with images of women in fashion magazines wearing clothes that only look good on a hanger (aka a size two runway model). Regular women with regular sized bodies want to wear these clothes because they are the current trend, not because they are flattering on their own body. We are told that if we can wear the clothes we see in magazines, we will be beautiful.
I feel that by being unaware of what works for our individual figures, we are setting ourselves up to feel shitty because we don’t look like the models in the magazines (yes, including Miss Upton).
I love fashion and I love trying the new trends as much as the next girl, but there are somethings that just don’t work for me- micro shorts,high-waisted trousers and backless dresses for instance. I love these looks on others, but not on me.
Ladies, figure out what looks good on your body and tailor the trends to work for you! Take control!
And for the love of GOD- wear bras that fit!!!! It makes a world of difference.
For a little inspiration, here is a link to a great blog dedicated to showing the world that style doesn’t only come in a size zero.
This is a familiar headline to mums ever since that lithe blond breast-fed her preschooler on the front of Time magazine. I think that we all had our own opinion on that one (lets just say that it reminded me a little too much of that infamous Game of Thrones scene).
Usually the battle is a bit more subtle… the giving of the “side eye” at mothers who give their kids fast food, let them watch TV or let them bite other kids without disciplining them…. silent judging. Or, as I experienced this past weekend, not so silent.
My husband thought I over reacted to this incident, but it made me by turns furious, embarrassed and sad.
We took Buds to the park on Sunday morning, as we do almost every weekend morning. The three of us, two coffees and a sippy cup, running around in the sand. This week, Buds was obsessed with the slide. He was up and down that thing about a zillion times! He was having the time of his little life and as exhausted as we were (he was up at 6AM and raring to go that morning) we were loving being able to share the joy with him.
One one of his ascents to the top of the slide, another mother stopped and squinted up at me:
“I always wondered who his parents were”
I felt like she had kicked me in the teeth. She went on to say that she had seen my son with his babysitter and how great it was to put faces to his parents. I probably mumbled an answer that made no sense and she moved on, leaving me feeling like the world’s shittiest mother. To me, she had implied that I was some form of absentee parent that was uninvolved in her child’s life, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. Is this how working parents are viewed? As ghosts in their children’s lives?
Have any of you working mothers experience anything like this? Did I overreact? Was I too hard on myself?
On a lighter note, I wanted to share a list of my favourite fashion and lifestyle blogs
What are your favorite style blogs?
Before my son was born, the idea of being a stay-at-home mum made me cringe. Spending all of my time covered in drool and poop? No thanks! I am a career girl who also happens to want children!! I can have it all and not even break a sweat!!
When I went back to work after Buds was born, he was 7 months old and I was sad but also excited. I will be using my brain again! I can have lunch! I can pee when I want! I can have half an hour to myself on the streetcar twice a day to read a book in peace. Paradise!! What I didn’t take into account was that I had to work all day and then go home and still be a mother to a demanding infant. He didn’t sleep through the night, I was still breastfeeding (and pumping twice a day) and I still had some serious Mummy Brain going on. I was not “doing it all”… I was hanging by a thread… not doing either of my jobs the way that they should be done. I went back to work too early and it is not a mistake I will make again.
I had a couple of months off after that first job and when I went back to work on my current show, I would like to think I was way better prepared. I feel much more confident in my abilities this time and although this has been a stressful show, I think I have been much more on the ball. It also helps that my kid sleeps 12 hours a night now and I am getting sleep!!!
Regardless of the fact that I feel much more comfortable being a working mother now, I still feel guilty when I miss bedtime or check my email when it is supposed to be playtime. It’s a balancing act and I think I am doing okay at it… and when I am not, I have a wonderful partner to pickup the slack. Himself is a prince! I think that most of my working mum friends feel that way about their husbands. My girlfriends have excellent taste in men.
I don’t think anything that I have said here is exactly earthshaking, but it is true. You can’t ever really “have it all”.
I am not always a fan of the loosely defined concept of “shabby chic” decor. Sometimes it looks more like garage sale chic. However my hilarious and audacious friend Moxie is the queen of the Chic in the name. Her house, home to 4 children (ages 10 months to 18 years), a husband and a orange tabby, is so cozy and classy that I always feel so awesome and happy when I am over there. I especially love her bathroom… it is small, as her house is a traditional Toronto Victorian, but it is so perfectly decorated that you don’t even notice! It has a lovely white Parisian theme, which I have sort of half adopted in my bathroom. The other day, I decided that I needed to pump up the colour and interest level of the room. I have my own bathroom and it is a large space so I had something to work with, but I didn’t want to spend a lot of cash (my current job is coming to an end) so I headed to Homesense.
I have to say that Homesense, and its sister store Winners, have always intimidated me with their huge amount of merchandise. Luckily, this past weekend it all came together for me. Within 5 minutes I found a blue metal shelf, four baskets, a candle and two Parisian themed plates that have now become the basis of my shabby chic bathroom.
Take a look at what I have done so far. I am thinking about using empty, painted picture frames to display my jewlery in a nicer way then shown here.
What do you think of my new look?
I don’t get out much, I will say that right now. This summer has been so insane work wise that the usual evening involves putting my kid to bed and then snuggling down with a glass of wine and Himself (how I will refer to my husband here) to watch the West Wing on DVD. Exciting stuff.
But last night we mixed it up a bit and joined a group of friends at the Sigur Ros concert at Echo Beach. This was exactly what I needed. Listening to odd Icelandic whale music lying on a blanked staring up at the stars. At the risk of sounding cheesy, there was a bit of magic in the air.
Check out Echo Beach if you have a chance…. I think that it is an awesome place to see live music and the sound was excellent for an outdoor venue.
In honour of our evening, here is some Sigur Ros
Several years ago before I had my son, I started a wordpress blog called Movie Picture Junkie… about movies. Needless to say, that blog fell seriously by the wayside after Buds (the nickname I will use for my son here) was born and after I returned to work (in film.. the irony) when he was seven months old. While I still work in film and love the movies, I have discovered that being a mum does change what you are interested in. I now love browsing pinterest for cool kids clothes and interesting Christmas wrapping ideas. I have also been re-inspired by fashion since joining pinterest and seeing other peoples takes on various fashion trends. I think that I am still striving for Yummy Mummy status and hoping that some inspiration will make me feel like a women as well as a mum.
I plan on being pretty all over the map on this blog, which basically reflects my ever changing focus and interests. Expect the odd fun DIY as well….